More Than Just a Lollipop
How a Small Request Revealed A Much Bigger Problem At My Pediatrician's Office.
I’ve been with a specific pediatric practice for 10 years and for the most part, have always had a positive experience with my three kids going there. That changed today.
Here’s what happened:
I called the office and asked if they were running behind before driving over for my scheduled appointment, hoping to avoid a long wait in the waiting room with Isla. I’ve frequently had to wait 20+ minutes over the past year, which can be extremely challenging for her. The receptionist wouldn’t tell me if they were running behind and said to just come at her scheduled appointment.
When I asked if she could hide the lollipops that are on top of the front desk because Isla gets very upset and fixated on them, she said “No, I’m going to leave them on the desk. It wouldn’t be fair to the other children.” This is despite the fact that staff have accommodated this simple request before. I wasn’t asking her to deprive children of lollipops. By all means, if someone asks for it, please give it to them. I was simply asking for them to keep it out of sight to prevent distress for my child.
This is the most upsetting part. Upon arrival, with the lollipops front and center (of course), Isla started grabbing them. I then witnessed the front desk receptionist looking at my daughter with a disturbed and disgusted look on her face. The expression on her face—directed at Isla is something I will never forget. I even asked if there were cameras to document this, but unfortunately, there are not.
I wasn’t asking for any special accommodations or to cut the line. Just basic communication about wait times (without violating HIPAA!) and a small, reasonable adjustment to help prevent a meltdown. Instead, I was met with coldness and judgement.
I was shocked by the lack of sensitivity in this interaction, especially in a pediatric setting. And I will never forget the expression of disgust directed towards Isla. It is planted in my memory.
As parents, we work so hard to anticipate and manage situations for our disabled children. Encountering hostility instead of understanding in a medical setting is beyond disappointing.
I did end up speaking with a regional manager who was lovely and understanding when I explained what happened, and he also apologized. He also shared that he would speak with the staff, conduct sensitivity training in the future, and that there would be some form of disciplinary action.
It’s unfortunate that our experience had to serve as the catalyst for change. But if it means the next child who walks through those doors is met with more care and compassion, then maybe it was worth the tears.
Side note: Although this wasn’t an issue related to the Americans with Disabilities Act, here is the link if you ever encounter a violation.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in almost identical similar situations with my almost 4 year old non m-verbal autistic daughter. At doctors offices, playgrounds, libraries, ymcas, you name it. That look of disturb and disgust, it’s so hard to shake. shame on them. (Especially after you specifically calling to update Isla’s special needs in this particular situation.) I see you and I feel you. I love all that you write.